The Pain Endless

I seem to be at a crossroads here, no one gets close, hard to be near.

Sitting and staring at a perfect view, and the only thing wrong, is I should be staring at you.

Hard to make sense of what this worlds dished out, but for me on a personal level, the world is missing out.

I want to find a corner to scream out loud, but I hold it in and try and pretend it didn’t happen or I don’t feel it or this is some fucking sick joke!!!!!

Cant seem to get ahold of my body or mind, but theres 3 more I must consider, and they are all your kind.

You would have been a brother, again and once more. But your siblings have never worried. You have always blocked the door.

More honest ive never  known, I hope I played a part.

But honest you were, and full of so much heart.

I was more proud of you, than ive ever been of myself

And a father couldn’t be prouder to help make a man better than himself.

You were honest and strong and really a smartass, but I love you and miss you and I wish you peace.

Honest strong and a smartass, yea! Your related! PLEASE!

The point of all this, is for some relief,

I cant hardly breathe and ive lost my belief

Is there some solution I haven’t yet seen

Or does this shit just go on, like a bad fuckin dream?

Whatever the case and however it comes out

Theres some sort of answer, I have no doubt

I just cant see through this veil of tears

And im pretty sure this will last for years

My son saved my life and gave me a path

I thought for sure he would make it last.

I cant stop crying or feeling the pain

Honestly, just trying to stay sane.

Love to all. Appreciate what you have, daily

DAP 8/15/16

Published by Green Living Life

I am a father of 4 who lost his oldest son to the military in 2016. (21 yrs old). I am a contract IT wiring engineer who had to resign, after 20 years, because of a disability. I have always loved to write and now I hope to turn it into something that will help us all get back to appreciating the time we are gifted. I accept donations through PayPal@PaddysUSofA or Venmo@PaddytheBlogger if anyone can. I am struggling to support my family since this happened and have decided to be the DIYer that I am by changing to a Plant-based diet for recovery and longevity in my life. I also will help alleviate as much pollution as I can by recycling and not buying meat or dairy, this is now how I feel that I can help: educate and participate. DAP

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